Having been a busy boy for the last 18 months, ADRIAN PITT, owner of Develop-meant Training Consultants, has at last had the time to set up a new Qualification Centre. However, it's not all work...work...work and, during the quieter times, Adrian reflects on some of the things that have been bugging him while working from home...

Homes Under The Hammer

Aaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrggggghhhhh! I dare you to sit and watch this the whole way through. My cheesy chummy presenter friends have mastered the art of the corny one-liners and listen as, the music in the background ties in beautifully with what they're saying. For example, the man with the 80s haircut will say: "The lounge is looking a little tired, in fact, I don't know WHY the whole house has been left this way..." Cue The Communards "Don't Leave Me This Way". Then, the female blonde bombshell will pipe up with: "Well, the outside certainly doesn't have any kerb appeal, let's hope the interior is a little more promising as we peer behind this green door..." Yep, you guessed it! Make way for Shakin' Stevens and "Green Door"!! See how many you can count as you marvel at the clever creativity of the BBC music department. Homes Under The Hammer? More like "Presenters - Stick Your Heads Under This VERY Large Hammer!"

The Cats With Three Arses!

I have three indoor cats. The first is Louie, he's a Devon Rex. Along with him comes Jack, his best mate and Levi (the lady of the house) who Jack flirts with, even though she's old enough to be his Mother! Not only do I have to sit here and watch Jack's teenage feline affection for his furry pin-up "gal" play out in front of the TV set, clumps of hair flying around the front room as she bats off his advances, claws at full mast - oh no, dear reader - I'm also tied to their covered cat litter trays, what feels like 24/7 (apart from when I'm watching "Homes Under The Hammer" of course!) with my Black and Decker Mini Hoover clearing up bits of Catsan that they've decided to flick out of their toilets (how I don't know, coz there's a flap at the front?!). It's interesting to hear them digging in their dens, it's like they're trying to tunnel their way out of the living room! In fact, I'm quite expecting to walk into the lounge one day, cats missing, lift up their tray, pull up a piece of carpet and, loh and behold, there's a well-crafted tunnel that they've dug using their plastic cat food fork, three cats scuttling past the window, napsacks on their backs, off to find fame and fortune on the streets of London in some bizarre twist to Dick Whittington!

Cleaner required - apply within...

Why has my house work gone to pot since I became self-employed?! I sit here staring at my table tops, knowing full well I could write the complete works of Charlotte Bronte in the dust, I gaze out of my office window safe in the knowledge that, should World War III strike with a moment's notice, we'd have no need to put up blackout screens! In fact, I've become more obsessed with picking bits of Catsan out of the carpet than I have with drumming up the motivation to have a good "go" at my kitchen cupboards! So, not only am I Manager, PR person, Finance bod, Quality Control, Website designer and tea boy I'm "Shirl The Whirl" cleaning lady, the diva with a duster - not!

Face-schmuck!

Someone PLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLEASE let me into the "secret" of a good Facebook strategy for business! I'm glued to my laptop when I've not much on work wise, flicking onto the company page to see if we have any more Followers like my life depends on it! "Nope, still 78..." <five minutes later> "Nope, still at 78..." <ten minutes later> "Hmmmm, nope, still at 78!" I need to get out more! I don't think anyone out there in "Facebook Land" is particularly interested. I reckon they're only bothered about when they're nearest and dearest are giving birth, if it's at all possible to eat three Cream Crackers with a glass of water on your head and keeping their land free of foot and mouth on "Farmville" !!

Adrian Pitt was last spotted chained to the railings of the BBC Television Centre in London, enjoying a very serious nervous breakdown! Bless!

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